~Anger?~

So it's true what they all say. As it gets nearer to your wedding day, the crankier you get and the worst, you pick fights with almost anyone over the slightest matter. Why is that? Is it due to all the stress around you? But why? You get stressed over work but you don't act like a total bitch to the people around you. You have problems at school, you don't snap at others for talking to you. Even during PMS, you don't bark at people as much...well, not me anyway.

I hate being in this situation. To make things worse, I've actually taken the new job offer here in KL. I didn't want to initially. But being forced by some people, I took the job in the end. A total bore this job is. It's not challenging at all, unfortunately. Or maybe it's too soon to say coz they haven't given me much responsibility? I dunno. I just don't like this...as in this person I've become. Overly cranky, I snap at my mom most of the time (I feel so bad, I hate myself!). I think I may have suppressed anger. To many things bottled up inside, worried I may blow up...the signs are there, I think. But where did all these feelings come from?

Gawd...I think the feelings came from everywhere. Can't mention everything here though. Some people whom I don't want to offend may read this and it might ruin the friendship. Or even, some secrets are better left as it is and things better left unsaid. Too many things to deal with right now. Others always tell me to relax, keep cool. Man, if only they know what's really going on in this head of mine. Everyone has their own problems, and I have mine. Some of them will share their problems with me, and vice verca. But not everything can be shared, right? Too private, too emotional, too personal. And they might not understand.

I just hope Farid understands me enough though. I worry he doesn't get me. But apparently he does. He's been really patient with this crazy me. Crazy cranky Shireen, who snaps/barks at people whenever they speak to her. I noticed that my sarcasm has increased too :( this is soooooooo not good. A little sarcasm is ok, but extreme ones? Gawd! I hope no one was offended. This is the worst phase in my life....EVER! And I hate it!